The Grandparent Scam: What Every Grandparent Should Know
Imagine your phone rings.
The voice on the other end sounds frightened.
“Grandpa, I’m in trouble. Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.”
They may say they were in an accident.
They may claim they were arrested.
They may say they’re stranded somewhere and desperately need money.
And sometimes, the voice may even sound like your grandchild.
For a grandparent, that’s a powerful emotional moment.
Your first instinct isn’t to investigate.
It’s to help.
And that’s exactly what scammers are counting on.
What Is the Grandparent Scam?
The grandparent scam is an impersonation scam.
Someone contacts you pretending to be your grandchild—or sometimes another family member—and claims there is an emergency.
The story varies, but it usually involves something frightening:
- An automobile accident
- An arrest
- A medical emergency
- Being stranded away from home
- Needing money for bail
- Needing money immediately and secretly
Then comes the important part.
They don’t want you to stop and think.
They want you frightened enough to act immediately.
Why This Scam Can Be So Convincing
Years ago, you might have recognized that the person calling didn’t really sound like your grandson or granddaughter.
Today, we can’t depend entirely on that.
Technology, including artificial intelligence, can make impersonation more convincing. Scammers may also obtain personal information from social media and other sources.
They might know:
- Your grandchild’s name
- Where they live
- Where they attend school
- Where they’ve traveled
- Names of other family members
Knowing a few personal details can make a completely false story sound believable.
That’s why I don’t think the answer is simply telling seniors:
“Don’t fall for scams.”
We need a plan for what to do when one happens.
The Words That Should Immediately Make You Suspicious
There are several warning signs I’d pay particular attention to.
“Don’t tell Mom and Dad.”
That’s a major warning sign.
The scammer doesn’t want you checking the story with another family member.
“I need the money right now.”
Creating urgency prevents you from thinking clearly.
“Don’t hang up.”
They may try to keep you on the telephone so you can’t contact anyone else.
“Send gift cards, cryptocurrency, cash or a wire transfer.”
Be extremely suspicious of anyone demanding an unusual or difficult-to-reverse form of payment.
A genuine family emergency can withstand a few minutes of verification.
The Most Important Thing You Can Do
If you receive one of these calls, don’t make a decision while you’re frightened.
Hang up.
Then call your grandchild yourself using the telephone number you already have.
If you can’t reach them, call their parent, sibling or another trusted family member.
Don’t use a telephone number provided by the caller.
Verify the story independently.
If it’s really an emergency, taking a few minutes to confirm what’s happening isn’t going to hurt anyone.
But those few minutes could prevent you from losing thousands of dollars.
Create a Family Safe Word
Here’s one idea I particularly like because it’s so simple.
Create a family safe word or phrase.
Pick something your immediate family will remember but that a stranger wouldn’t easily guess from Facebook or other social media.
Then if someone calls claiming to be your grandchild and says there’s an emergency, ask:
“What’s our family safe word?”
Don’t use a pet’s name, birthday, hometown or something else a scammer might discover online.
And don’t post your safe word anywhere.
It’s just a simple additional layer of protection.
Don’t Be Embarrassed to Double-Check
This is important.
A sophisticated scam isn’t successful because someone is foolish.
It’s successful because the scammer creates exactly the right combination of fear, urgency and love for another person.
Think about it.
If someone called me and convinced me that one of my grandchildren was in serious trouble, naturally I’d want to help.
That’s a normal reaction.
The trick is learning to put one step between the emotion and the action.
Stop. Hang up. Verify.
Those three words are worth remembering.
What If the Caller Really Sounds Like Your Grandchild?
Don’t let the voice alone convince you.
Ask a question only your real grandchild should know.
Better yet, hang up and call them yourself.
Technology changes.
The basic defense doesn’t:
Never send money based solely on an unexpected telephone call. Verify first.
Talk About This Before It Happens
This may be the most important part of this article.
Don’t wait until somebody in your family receives one of these calls.
Talk about it now.
Tell your children and grandchildren:
“If I ever receive an emergency call supposedly from you, I’m going to hang up and call you back. Don’t take it personally. That’s our family rule.”
Then everyone knows what to expect.
You can also decide who the second person should be if the grandchild can’t be reached.
That turns an upsetting situation into a simple procedure.
If You’ve Already Sent Money
Act immediately.
Contact the bank, credit-card company, wire-transfer company, gift-card issuer or other financial institution involved and explain that you believe you were the victim of fraud.
Depending on how the money was sent, they may be able to stop or reverse the transaction—but the sooner you contact them, the better.
You should also report the scam to appropriate authorities.
Most importantly, don’t let embarrassment prevent you from telling someone what happened.
Why I Think Families Should Discuss This
At 79, I’ve seen technology change enormously during my lifetime.
Some of those changes have made life easier.
Unfortunately, they’ve also given dishonest people new ways to take advantage of others.
I don’t think the answer is being afraid of technology.
I think the answer is being prepared.
And with the grandparent scam, preparation can be remarkably simple:
Stop. Hang up. Verify.
Then call the person you love yourself.
Final Thought
A scammer may know your grandchild’s name.
They may know where they live.
They may even be able to imitate their voice.
But there’s one thing they don’t control:
What you do next.
Don’t let someone else’s urgency become your emergency.
Take a few minutes.
Make your own call.
Verify the story.
And consider having a family safe word before you ever need one.
Sometimes one simple family conversation can prevent a very expensive mistake.
A Scam Email I Received Myself
Just recently, I received an email from someone supposedly named “Lisa Saxena.” There was almost nothing in the message—just a PDF attachment.
At first glance, it looked like an ordinary email. But instead of opening the attachment, I checked the actual email address behind the sender’s name.
That’s when the warning signs appeared.
The email address was a long, unrelated Gmail address that didn’t match the sender’s name or identify any company or organization I recognized.
I didn’t open the PDF. I marked the email as spam and deleted it.
This is a simple habit I think every senior should learn:
Don’t just look at the name of the person who supposedly sent an email. Check the actual email address before opening an unexpected attachment.
A familiar-looking name can be typed into the “From” field. That doesn’t prove who actually sent the message.
If you don’t recognize the sender, weren’t expecting the attachment, or the email address looks strange, don’t open it. If the message supposedly comes from a company, bank, government agency, friend, or family member, contact them separately using a phone number or website you already trust.
Related Reading:
7 Phone Scams That Trick Seniors